Woody Allen’s performance with his New Orleans Jazz Band was horrid. It was some of the worst clarinet playing I’ve ever heard. As Minneapolis Star Tribune critic Jon Bream pointed out (“Allen is serious about playing jazz,” 8/3/15), Allen’s performance was “screechy, squawky and squeally.” Allen changed his reed several times during the performance, This is something that players of reed instruments will sometimes do when they hope to improve their sound. Likewise, horn players will change mouthpieces to improve their sound. This technique didn't work for Allen. I realize that clarinet players in New Orleans jazz bands generally have a special sound that is unique to their jazz genre. I've heard a number of NO jazz bands over the years, so I know what a good one is supposed to sound like. My evening at the State Theater was like listening to someone drag his fingernails across a chalkboard. The rest of the band was excellent and did their best to drown out Allen. I was amazed that rather than booing Allen off the stage, the audience gave several standing ovations. This was likely because they were just being nice, were either unfamiliar with good New Orleans jazz or they were simply recognizing Allen for his previous work in the cinema. It’s no wonder Woody Allen began his current tour in Minneapolis. He knew enough to take advantage of “Minnesota NIce.” Can I get a refund?